Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The kids are happy and Jonathan's sleeping, so...
I'll pop in for a minute to let you know what's been going on around here.
First, those of you who love a good birth story will be disappointed. My labor was a really discouraging experience, except for his delivery of course. Everything was great until they gave me the IV drip, which is when my labor almost came to a halt and I got really weepy. Then, I made the really bad decision to try to speed things along with an epidural, even though I was managing the pain just fine (always worked with the other babies), which made things even less productive. Guilt, discouragement, feeling like a coward... these are all feelings that don't belong in labor. I went from about 3am to 8am like this, but thankfully my midwife arrived and broke my water. This got things going a bit, but after no significant progress, she started me on pitocin, which had to be upped three times while she manually dilated me. Thank you Lord that I didn't feel her do that. Shortly after 9am, she shocked me and said that she wanted me to push at will with each contraction. Within a few minutes I was feeling the need, but my emotions got the best of me and I just clung to the bed rails, crying. Here it was, my last baby and my last few minutes of carrying him inside of me. It was so sweet and painful all at the same time. When I let go and did what I knew I needed to do, out he came in three pushes. Matt caught him in his arms and held him while I took it all in. It's always so surreal. Joy and newness brimming over and I'm lost in it all, so much that I don't care that everyone in the room can see parts of me I wouldn't want my own mother to see, so much that the discouragement and sadness that overwhelmed me just a few minutes before is completely gone. Again, for the fourth time, I'm overwhelmed with the knowledge that God has made a little person, part me and part Matt and yet he's entirely new. He was then and he is now such a joy to us and to our family.
Since then, my mom came to help us for a few days, which was so very appreciated, and Matt's mom also came to get a peek at the baby for the weekend, which was a treat. Now all the help is gone, but so far so good. The kids really love their brother and he's proven to be pretty easy to spoil. He eats and sleeps well and he's about as snuggly as they come. I even managed to start up Dana's schooling again, which says a lot. Not that I'm so hyper-diligent, but this baby is amazingly easy!
More choppy/wordy updates to come. Baby needs nursing.