I feel like I'm...

sinking into myself today. I started the day pumped, because after gaining weight and feeling depressed, I've joined Curves. Gasp. I know. I'm against this stuff. Why pay someone for the privilege of wearing yourself out, when we chose to pay extra for our chores not to wear us out. Our society is so backwards. This is one reason why I bake bread and use cloth diapers (1/2 of the time at least). Yes, aren't I perceptive and good at sensing foolishness? The problem is that I'm putting on weight and I'm tired and grumpy most of the time, so although I would like to give gym mega-chains the finger, I'm joining with a 2-YEAR CONTRACT!!!!

This isn't why I'm sinking into myself though. It's like 6th grade, when book reports were due, and everyone else had their book report done and in, but I was sinking into my chair. Why? If I happened to remember to do it, it was at home buried under my junk on the floor of my room, or it was fully written in my head and forgotten about. Today is a day when I feel that way, only this time I'm disappointing my husband, and making stupid financial brain farts that make me want to dig a hole and hide in it. BTW- the financial brain farts have nothing to do with Curves. The hard part is that this isn't just one isolated incident. It's a chain of stupid moves and forgotten responsibilities that makes my stomach sick and gives me a headache. I'm clinging to the cross, thankful for grace, and begging for change in me. As a people pleaser, it's really stinking hard to make a post like this. It's hard to call your sin for what it is and do it out in the open. I don't even know why I'm doing this. If you think of me, will you pray for my humility and diligence?

porch pics

porch rebuild

playground conversation

Setting: St. Elmo Playground, under the rings
Characters: 4 1/2 year old Dana Flynn Monahan, 3 year old Jane Elizabeth Monahan, and 2(?)year old Fuller Crumley

Dana: Hey, what's your name? I'm Dana.

Fuller: (looking at his shoes) I'm Fuwer.

Jane: (in a singsongy voice reminiscent of G.G.'s Minnesota accent) O, that's nice. My brother Dana is four too! What's your name?

Fuller: (perplexed) I'm Fuwer.


Director's note: Coversation goes on like this for awhile, but eventually names don't matter and they just play ;)

ode to Matt

This won't be poetry. I'm not that brave, but I do need to speak out in honor of my incredibly wonderful hubby. He gave me the weekend off and I went to Atlanta to be with my parents for the weekend and to get away. It felt weird to be alone with my parents again, but it was so nice to sleep past 6:30am and putz around with my mom, without worrying about potty stops or naptimes. I got to go to Trader Joe's, Ikea, and Tuesday Morning. I'm not normally a shopping nut, but I had so much fun picking up things that we needed (groceries, summer blankets, etc). I wasn't stressed out or worried about anyone or anything, especially because Matt was doing such a great job at home. He took them out in the Jeep to do all kinds of fun things together and when they were home, he even managed to keep the dishes done and the house clean. He's wiped out and so are the kids, but I'm so thankful that they sacrificed so I could get a break. Below are a few pictures of the weekend.