my fisher-man

Matt went up to his favorite pond last night to fish. He was a little frustrated because the fishing wasn't that great this time, but he did catch an awesome trophy-size crappie, along with a few smallies. I don't think I've ever seen a bigger crappie. It freaked me out considerably, because after 40 minutes of being out of the water it was still breathing and trying to flop off of the counter. It was staring me down, saying (with his big eyes), "Lady, you better not eat me, or..." I don't know what he would have done. His reptilian coldness utterly grosses me out, so I didn't stay to find out. I hid out in the living room and let Matt make fillets out of 'im. We're having fish for dinner tonight!

Please pray for...

our friends Justin and Holly Miller. Holly is due to have her second little boy at the end of this week. His name is Luke and he has a heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. If you look to your lower right, you'll see a link to their blog, with a better explanation of what this condition is. The gyst is that Luke will have to have a series of surgeries, the first one being very soon after birth. Please pray that 1) Holly would go into labor on her own; 2) she would be able to deliver Luke on her own without any stress to baby Luke; 3) that God would heal Luke; 4) that God would comfort and sustain them durning this time; 5) and that God would use this entire situation to show His glory to all of their doctors, friends, and family. Holly is an ObGyn herself, so she's better informed than the rest of us mommies, but I'm sure that she needs God's peace and comfort just as much as the rest of us. Please remember them in your prayers this week and I'll try to post more information as I hear it.

Rock On!

Man, who's the studly rock star?

book in hand

Clara has really started to love books. She even reads during diaper changes. It's very funny. She's pretty serious about it too. She'll point to the pictures and tell me what each thing is, in baby-speak. Everything's a "bubba" right now. "Bottle" is "bowbow". Her blanket is "bubbah". Dana and Janie are both "Dahna". I love this age. Every little insignificant thing is exciting to her. It's all a cool surprise. I love thinking back to this time a year ago and seeing the visible change in her. She's so much more content and flexible. I'm very thankful.

nice hat!

Clara tried on a hat that Auntie Katie gave the kids. She loves hats and after I put it on her, she proceeded to promenade around the living room, like it was a fashion show. I guess she's used to having to show off her cuteness for attention...

Dana's Do

I made a deal with Dana last week. His hair is so thick, that it's hard for me to wash his hair while he sits up in the tub. I told him that he either had to start taking a shower and washing his own hair, or he had to let me cut his hair with the clippers. He's afraid of the clippers, so haircuts were getting diffiucult and they took twice as long, due to using mostly scissors. He chose to get a short haircut, which surprised me. Due to major bedhead on Sunday morning, I buzzed it off that morning before church. He was super excited about showing his friends his new do. Matt's not to big on no bangs, but I love it. He's just overflowing with little-boy handsomeness.

Oh, and by the way. I had to take him to see Dr. Spraggins yesterday, because his ear hurt. The nurse said he weighed in at just under 50lbs! That means he's gained 8 1/2 lbs since August!!!! No wonder he always says he's hungry.

A new favorite

Not what my hands have done can save my guilty soul;
Not what my toiling flesh has borne can make my spirit whole.
Not what I feel or do can give me peace with God;
Not all my prayers and sighs and tears can bear my awful load.

Your voice alone, O Lord, can speak to me of grace;
Your power alone, O Son of God, can all my sin erase.
No other work but Yours, no other blood will do;
No strength but that which is divine can bear me safely through.

Thy work alone, O Christ, can ease this weight of sin;
Thy blood alone, O Lamb of God, can give me peace within.
Thy love to me, O God, not mine, O Lord, to Thee,
Can rid me of this dark unrest, And set my spirit free.

I bless the Christ of God; I rest on love divine;
And with unfaltering lip and heart I call this Savior mine.
His cross dispels each doubt; I bury in His tomb
Each thought of unbelief and fear, each lingering shade of gloom.

I praise the God of grace; I trust His truth and might;
He calls me His, I call Him mine, My God, my joy and light.
’Tis He Who saveth me, and freely pardon gives;
I love because He loveth me, I live because He lives.

This was written by a Scottish minister named Horatius Bonar in 1861, which I believe he wrote during a notable revival in Scotland (can't remember the name).

In his newest cd, Nathan Clark George sings this hymn. I can't stop singing it and thinking about it. The words really speak to my heart's need for security in the cross. I struggle so much to let go of my need to measure up and dig deeper into the relationship that God wants with me. The more I struggle, the more I know that this is God's work and I need to trust Him to finish what He's started.

SNOW DAY!!

Hurray for our first real snow in a few years! It will probably be gone by nightfall, but it's been fun to revel in the novelty of it all. The kids woke up at 6am this morning to see if there was snow on the ground and we were outside by 7:30. Matt built a great snowman and I even saw someone (a reporter?) stop to take a picture of it this morning. Maybe we'll be in the paper.

quiz

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

A thousand words...

This is Jane's new doll... or is it Clara's new drool wrag?

Tennessee Teeth

I don't know who's child this is, but someone needs to teach her to brush her teeth... or maybe just to stop eating the black crayons!

the Light

So... I was making mac and cheese for the kids today, and Janie says, "Mommy, I see Jesus outside, right there" (she points out the kitchen window). I asked her if she was pretending and she said "no". Then she asked me, "Mommy, isn't Jesus the Light?" I wasn't sure how to explain that one. It's a pretty abstract concept. What I did say was that Jesus is the Light, but not exactly the same thing as the light coming in the window.

Happy Birthday Janie!!!

Today Jane is 3! It's hard to believe she's that old already, but time really does go by quickly when the kids are little. Here are a few pics of the castle cake and the birthday girl. I'll add more as the day goes on.

a wrench in the works

There has been a disgusting, violent gi virus going around our church and it hit me on Saturday night. Childbirth aside, I don't know that I've ever felt worse. Severe vomitting and other unmentionables from 10:30pm to 5am, followed by 24 hours of stomach pain, body aches, and nausea. Too much pain to sleep for very long and too much nausea to eat. Ugh. Yesterday (Day 3?), I felt well enough to get out of bed twice and to eat some ramen noodles. I also discovered these lovely Thai noodles that Matt found at the grocery store. They really hit the spot.

Most of the time I was sick, I laid in my bed thinking that I should be learning something from all of this. One thought that kept coming back was that there are Christians who struggle with pain and sickness for their whole life. What a struggle. I am so incredibly thankful for my health and the fact that Matt was home on a three-day weekend when I got sick.

The bummer is that Jane's girly birthday party was planned for Monday, and we had to cancel it, just in case this spreads to the rest of the house before the week's out. I don't think we'll be able to reschedule either. We'll just do a family thing tomorrow, on her real birthday. It's a good thing that she's so little, because she's blissfully ignorant anyway. :)

Crash...

I think Clara may need to wear a helmet, full time. Right now she has a total of 4 big bruises and one cut (but healing) lip. She has an overconfidence problem. If there is a chair in the middle of the room, she thinks to herself, "I can climb that... no problem." Before I even notice that she's stopped playing with her toy, shes standing on a wooden chair in her slippers, about to topple to the hard floor. Sometimes I am able to save her, but most of the time she knocks her head on the floor before I can catch her. At bath time, she tries to climb out of the bathtub and she wacks her head on the side of the tub, or on the floor, as she launches herself out of the tub like a torpedo. This is long-winded. Sorry. I'm looking for suggestions. What do you do to downplay the knocks to the head on an ambitious 1-year-old? Helmet? Padded room?

She'll probably be the first child of mine to break a bone. Do you see the big knot on her head in the picture? Ouch.

the miracle of exercise

I've had a little trouble losing the rest of my pregnancy weight this time, especially in the middle. My third pregnancy was a doozy. I felt like my belly would fall off any minute. So, I guess it's no surprise that I'm fighting to fit into my pants.

I've wanted to go to Curves or the Y, or something like that for awhile. I just can't justify spending the money, or uprooting the kids to take them to the Y. Our lives are already busy enough. Sunday night, Matt had an idea that I feel really good about. He suggested that I prep dinner ahead of time and take a good long brisk walk as soon as he gets home from work. 3 out of the last 4 days I have done that and I love it. Usually by the time Matt gets home, I'm in need of some alone time and this is a perfect combo of alone time and exercise. I listen to a podcast by Focus on the Family or something else that's edifying and I walk my butt off (ha ha).

The unexpected bonus has been that I have more energy and a better attitude than I did before this new plan. I feel so much better. Looking back, I think I was fighting some mild depression, due to being cooped up. Go figure. So maybe if I don't lose any weight, at least I'll feel better.

What's really funny, is that I don't really have any hip exercise gear, so if you see me walking down St. Elmo Ave, please don't laugh at my goofy get-up, at least don't let me see you laugh. You can laugh all you want to when I'm not around.

a long entry

I've been reading a book by Rose Marie Miller, called From Fear to Freedom. I've never taken the Sonship course, but it seems to be a glimpse at Sonship themes. In it, Miller shares her testimony of her mid-life crisis and how God changed her as she dealt with her own shortcomings and the way she let down people she cared about.

This really hits home for me, because I'm such a people pleaser. When someone doesn't like something about me, I feel stifled and bitterness grows deep inside me. Sometimes their dislike is warranted, sometimes it's unwarranted, and sometimes it's in my imagination. I have a very hard time being okay with who God has called me to be. A good example of this is my house. Our house is a huge blessing. We bought it for very little money and we've been able to do all of the work on it out of pocket, thanks to my handyman husband. When we sell it, we will make almost triple what we payed for it. The hard part is that progress has been slow lately, due to our three little ones. In addition to that, we have never had the kind of income required to buy nice furniture. With the exception of our dinner table (an Ikea deal), everything is of low quality or a hand-me-down (three times over). I should be thankful. I have a warm, cozy home that we own, and we constantly have loved ones in and out of it. God has used our home as a haven for people we love, and yet I find myself torn up inside anytime anyone visits, because it doesn't measure up to what I know other people have. The rugs are stained, the furniture is dingy and uncomfortable, I'm not very good at decorating (no money to buy decorations), and I'm not meticulously neat--I'm a clutterbug trying to be a neatnick.

I should be secure in the cross. I should know by now that God can use even me, even in this half-done, unfashionable, cluttered house, to bring glory to Himself. I should recognize that I'm the one stealing my joy, the joy that God gave me, which comes from letting go of the need to measure up.

I'll just say it... I don't measure up. In terms of impressing people, I'm a loser. I don't play the game well. I stick my foot in it over and over again. If I dwell on this, I get really depressed.

God's not impressed with me and He never will be... but He loves me! I feel hokey, but it's something to shout about. He really did use the foolish things of this world to put to shame the wise. He chose me and I'm the biggest fool I know.

for Katie

My sister is leaving again for the Netherlands this week. It's hard to have her so far away, especially because we've grown so much closer over the past few years. Clara is sad too. Can you tell? If she could articulate it, I'm sure she would say, "Auntie Katie, take me with you! I know you would feed me more cookies than Mommy does!" (Clara got a few extra cookies at Auntie Katie and Grandpa's hands over Christmas.) ;)
Seriously, we will miss you so very much Katie, and John too.

Father knows best

During a Post-Christmas celebration at our house, Matt gave Dana the digital camera, which really upset me. What if he dropped it?! Evidently, I had a pretty annoyed look on my face, because Matt gave me the "Chill, Mama" look. Lucky for Matt and Dana, my entire extended family was standing there, so I dropped the subject (at least until I could find a way to sneak the camera away from Dana).

In the meantime, I began to watch my son with the camera very closely. He was doing a great job and for my reluctant patience, I got the reward of about 140 pictures. They were wonderful. It's so amazing to look at life and family through his eyes. Here are a few of my favorites.

We had a great holiday

I love seeing this many people at our table. Thanks to everyone for coming to see us. We had a wonderful time.