A Quiver Full

my arch enemy, the stomach bug

2011-04-02T16:13:00.003-04:00

last night, clara joy woke up vomitting. i deserted my husband and puking daughter and fled to the guest room in the hopes that i wouldn't phsyche myself into throwing up too. i'm so nauseous lately that listening to someone throw up is almost unbearable. thankfully, matt handled it well and like the great hubby he is, he woke up with her throughout the night and cleaned up as needed. thankfully, i slept and didn't spend the night throwing up! i woke up discouraged though, thinking of the doom that now lay over matt's spring break and the next several days for us. i confess that i am very afraid of stomach bugs. i know they pass quickly and that God has not forgotten us, but i struggle with even the thought that my nausea is possibly going to get worse. i spent the morning feeling depressed and talking to God about it. i snuggled up in bed while the kids watched a movie and rested. i checked email and facebook. i read an update from a missionary couple in Japan, the aoyagis and a woman they met who had lost all three of her children during the earthquake/tsunami. i read about an officer who was shot and killed this morning in chattanooga. suddenly, i was thankful. when i think about my four healthy children and my husband who is alive and well it doesn't seem to matter so much about stomach bugs or nausea. i am blessed and humbled that i have been so fearful with so little to be afraid of and so much to praise God for.

a fresh start?

2011-04-01T11:42:00.002-04:00

after some deliberation on the merits and challenges of facebook, i have decided to try to blog again, even though i have surely lost my followers for good. it serves as a kind of journal for me, and with as much as i am cooped up lately, i think this will be good for me.

as for why i have been cooped up, i'm pregnant with our fifth baby. this was a huge adjustment for us, because we had hoped to be done having children. God has better plans though and we are thankful that He's in charge. right now, i'm 12 weeks and counting. it's been a rough transition so far. i've been very nauseous and unable to keep up with much of our busy family life. thankfully, we made the choice to put our older two in school this year, so i'm only home with two during the day and i'm able to rest. if we were homeschooling, i'm pretty sure things would be a little bit crazier around here.

we sold our house last may. i wish i had been blogging then, because i would have posted some pictures of the house finished. it was beautiful. the only mistake we made with it was buying a smaller house to start with. it was very hard to outgrow it and leave. we love the house we're in now. it's much larger and older, with so many amazing little details, but nothing will ever feel the same as the house my husband put so much loving care into. maybe this house will feel more like home to me when our new baby comes home to it. there's such a connection with the place you have brought your babies home to. i can't think about the old house without seeing snapshots of my life as a mother in it flashing through my mind. i used to feel so cramped and crowded there, with laundry piled up and children running laps around the house. it was our life though, our family. there were messes and accidental art on the walls and delicious smells and happy screeches.

thankfully, our family is a family in this big beautiful house too. we have suddenly found a way to make every square inch of a large house messy too! we have lovely neighbors, old and young. we have flowers blooming, little friends knocking on the door, and thankful hearts. i suppose these are precious things, aren't they?

still here and busy as usual

2010-01-05T16:45:00.002-05:00

well we've gone through a long season of illness and sleeplessness. that and everything else that goes into keeping a family of six running has left me too tired to write much. the idea of catching up is so daunting, that i'm just going to start with today.

during bean's morning nap today, dana and i started our school routine with a half-day. we worked on reading and handwriting this morning and as odd as it sounds, we both needed it. i loved being able to connect with him again and it's so satisfying for him and for me to see how much he's learning. even though we haven't done any formal learning times over Christmas break, he's been stealing away with books here and there and spelling out words for me to help him with when he gets stuck. reading isn't something i have to motivate him to do anymore. he loves it and i'm so thankful that i get to watch it all happen.

while dana did some independent work, janie and i filled out our calendar for january, drew a picture of the weather for her weather journal, and started her work on /i/ for this week. in the meantime, clara joy insisted that she get to do school too. i dug out some handwriting and early phonics sheets from an early learning workbook and she happily filled out 10 pages worth of information. she loves worksheets, which of course makes things easier for me when i'm working with the big kids.

later, we went to a friend's house for a playdate. the kids had big fun dumping out their friends' toys and making huge messes, while i got to catch up with a friend i see far too little of lately.

thankfully, tonight we're eating leftovers, so i'm currently sitting in the kitchen freezing my hiney off, waiting for matt and janie to get home so we can microwave some leftover goodness for dinner.

and i'm writing in lowercase... maybe it will save me time? maybe i won't spend so much time searching for the caps key? or mistakenly hitting it when i shouldn't?

some progress:)

2009-11-29T15:26:00.002-05:00

Again, this is just a small update...

I finally got my pants' size down to a single digit number! I'm glad that all of the early morning trips to the Y and south beachin' it have paid off. I've indulged a little bit over Thanksgiving, but I'm going to keep at it and hopefully keep those pesky pounds from coming back.

2009-11-02T22:56:00.002-05:00

So I'm pretty busy lately and our hard drive is dead, but I'm going to try to leave little posts here and there when I get a chance. I've just started the south beach diet, which is my first attempt ever at a formal diet. My thirties haven't been very good for the bottom or waistline. Ahem...

I'm encouraged about my progress so far, but would love to hear some suggestions from anyone who has tried this diet or a similar one. Did you have any favorite recipes or websites that were helpful?

Stay tuned for another brief and choppy update...

a good reminder borrowed from another woman's blog

2009-10-15T08:25:00.001-04:00

“Jehoiachin was not sent away from the king’s palace with a store to last him for months, but his provision was given him as a daily pension (2 Kings 25:30). Herein he well pictures the happy Position of all the Lord’s people. A daily portion is all that a man really wants. We do not need tomorrow’s supplies; that day has not yet dawned, and its wants are as yet unborn. The thirst which we may suffer in the month of June does not need to be quenced in February for we do not feel it as yet. If we have enough for each day as the days arrive, we shall never know want. Sufficient for the day is all that we can enjoy…You have no store of strength. Day by day must you seek help from above…In Jesus all needful things are laid up for you…enjoy your continual allowance. ~C.H.Spurgeon

a little something new

2009-09-20T17:13:00.001-04:00

trying to spice up the old bloggy :)

Matt, Papi, and kids at blue hole

2009-09-20T16:06:00.000-04:00

click here to see the photos

another song

2009-09-16T16:30:00.008-04:00

The shape note documentary I saw at St. Elmo Pres. (Awake My Soul) has left me craving more. I keep thinking of getting away to one of the local singings to try it out and I would LOVE to host a showing of the documentary and a sample singing at our church in Flintstone too. The community we're in would probably love it. At our church on Sunday, we sang a an old hymn that was adapted from the Sacred Harp hymnal. This hymn was also sung a few times during the documentary and I was so excited to sing it, even if the tune was slightly changed. Here it is, and I hope it edifies you and encourages you as much as it has me. Click on the link below to hear the tune. The organ doesn't really do the song justice, but you'll get the idea. It's hauntingly beautiful to hear it sung in the shape note way, with over a hundred people belting out the notes and keeping time together. For now though, I have to be satisfied with humming it to myself while I do the dishes.

I know that my Re-deem-er lives— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
What com-fort this sweet sent-ence gives— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
Shout on, pray on, we're gain-ing ground— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
The dead's a-live and the lost is found— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!

He lives, He lives, who once was dead— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
He lives, my ev-er-last-ing Head— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
Shout on, pray on, we're gain-ing ground— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
The dead's a-live and the lost is found— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!

He lives to bless me with His love— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
He lives to plead for me a-bove— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
Shout on, pray on, we're gain-ing ground— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
The dead's a-live and the lost is found— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!

He lives, all glo-ry to His name!— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
He lives, my Je-sus, still the same— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
Shout on, pray on, we're gain-ing ground— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!
The dead's a-live and the lost is found— Glo-ry, hal-le-lu-jah!

http://members.toast.net/puritan/Hymns/Hymns.htm

More about shape note/sacred harp music...

what i'm humming today

2009-09-06T22:33:00.000-04:00

Hallelujah! Praise Jehovah

Hallelujah, praise Jehovah,
O my soul, Jehovah praise;
I will sing the glorious praises
Of my God through all my days.
Put no confidence in princes,
Nor for help on man depend;
He shall die, to dust returning,
And his purposes shall end.

Happy is the man that chooses
Israel’s God to be his aid;
He is blest whose hope of blessing
On the Lord his God is stayed.
Heaven and earth the Lord created,
Seas and all that they contain;
He delivers from oppression,
Righteousness He will maintain.

Food He daily gives the hungry,
Sets the mourning prisoner free,
Raises those bowed down with anguish,
Makes the sightless eyes to see.
Well Jehovah loves the righteous,
And the stranger He befriends,
Helps the fatherless and the widow,
Judgment on the wicked sends.

Hallelujah, praise Jehovah,
O my soul, Jehovah praise;
I will sing the glorious praises
Of my God through all my days.
Over all God reigns forever,
Through all ages He is King;
Unto Him, thy God, O Zion,
Joyful hallelujahs sing.

keeping it real

2009-08-25T16:01:00.004-04:00

I've gotten a few very nice compliments that I didn't deserve lately and I think it's due to the fact that I only post when I'm in a good mood and I've had a productive enough day to sit down and tell about it. Consequently, most of my posts are about good days and things that are working for me. I suppose those who know me know me well enough to understand that our life is much messier than that and I, like most people, really don't have it all together.

In the spirit of keeping it real, and hopefully opening a few minds, I am going to put myself out there a bit and share something that is a real struggle in my family. Growing up, ADHD was something like the sixth member of my five person family. It affected all of us to some degree, even if it was just by association. Back then, there weren't really labels for it and even when pediatricians and teachers finally recognized it as a real problem, they didn't know what to do about it aside from pushing meds like ritalin on desperate parents. Now, years later, practically everyone says their kid has ADHD and our society has been so inundated with information on it, that no one really takes it seriously anymore. More often than I would like, I've heard people tell me that it's just an excuse not to parent your children, or that it's just another label we put on kids to explain away their bad behavior. To me, it seems like we've gone from bad to worse. ADHD is real, just as real as dyslexia or any other disorder that profoundly affects learning that way. And, despite it's notoriety, it's really misunderstood.

Now, I find myself in a really unexpected role. My son, Dana clearly has ADHD and I am struggling with what to do to encourage and equip him to learn and thrive. Thankfully, Dana is homeschooled and his world has been a fairly safe one so far. At home he has the freedom to be his quirky little self without being ridiculed or bullied. At church, in Sunday school and evening classes, he has to interact with other children and obey his teacher, which has been a needed challenge.

Still, at soccer practice and any other place where there are lots of children and a good amount of noise, he's completely overwhelmed and he shuts down. Poor Matt. He coaches Dana's team and to every other parent watching from the sidelines, it probably looks like we're making the kid play soccer against his will. In reality, Dana begs us to let him play and then by the second or third practice, he refuses to try. Fear of failure and inattention take over and the pep talks begin. Thankfully, we had a great practice tonight. Between Matt coaching and me shouting encouragement from the sideline, Dana was fairly focussed and really proud of himself. At one point, a parent kindly volunteered to step in and assist Matt with the coaching. He started barking orders at Dana and the three other boys he was working with. He spoke so fast and he seemed to be talking over them. Within seconds, Dana was flopping his arms and legs around and walking like a straw man, completely tuning this well-meaning father out. I'll be honest, I was angry and fighting back tears. Thankfully, Dana listened to me as I did my best to repeat the man's instructions and he was able to stay on task. Tonight was a good night, but lately I'm weighed down with the struggles that he'll have to face as he gets older. Especially, because no one seems to care that he's struggling and very few people are willing to accomodate his needs. I know he's not the only kid that struggles with this either.

Lately, I've been spending my spare time learning about what Matt and I can do to help him. Here are my main goals, at least for now:

1- Encouragement... he needs a lot of that, and at the very least, he needs as much encouragement as he gets discipline. There's so much to praise him for anyway. I didn't mention this earlier (shame on me), but ADHD kids have some kick-butt attributes too. They're usually very bright and incredibly creative, not to mention good at problem-solving.

2- Structure... each day needs to be pretty much the same around here, with the exception of friends visiting and Sundays. Dana thrives on routine and I bet most kids do, but when we don't have one, he flounders.

3- Consistent, godly discipline... I need to work on keeping my cool when I'm at my wits' end. Tired or not, he needs to know that no matter what, the rules in our house don't change and neither do the consequences.

4. Diet... this is a work in progress, but gradually, I'm going to try to keep sugary foods out of the house and stick to all natural foods.

5. Exercise... as much as he struggles with it, I really think he needs the social and mental benefit of playing a team sport. It's good for him to learn to work in a team and to stretch himself to persevere when he's tired. Unless he really starts to hate it, we're going to keep plugging away at this. Thankfully, the soccer program he's playing in is really low key and kid-friendly anyway.

6. Open communication... we haven't done it yet, but Matt and I are going to sit down and talk about this with Dana. It's time that he understood why he struggles more than other children do. I'm sure those of you who are anti-labels will have a hard time with this. Why would we put a label on our child? It's simple. He knows he's different and he's struggling with feeling inadequate. He needs us to say, Dana these are your strengths and weaknesses and this is why you are the way you are. God made you this way. He doesn't make mistakes.

Again, keeping it real, I know I'm going to botch this all up over and over again, but here I am again, clinging to my God's hand, asking for mercy along the way. God made us who we are for a purpose and I'm trusting that He knows exactly what He's doing with Dana.

In the meantime, if you have any great insights or resources, send them my way.

pictures in my mind

2009-08-12T20:59:00.003-04:00

We did it. We completed our first week of homeschool. I somehow managed to perform all (most) of my regular daily chores as well as parent four children with vastly different needs, teach a first grade curriculum for the first time and start kindergarten with Janie. I'm not bragging, but I have to stop and admit that it was a tall order and I did it. It's possible and it was a good week, not a horrible one. Today I need to make up for the laundry I didn't do all week, or at least the rumpled clean laundry I didn't fold, and clean the bathroom. Neither one is looking appealing. I'm groggy and waiting for my iced coffee to kick in.

For now, I'm going to allow myself a blog post. I don't have tons of photos of our week. I wish I did. It was enough that I did what I planned to do, which was a lot. Looking back, though there were some moments that I've saved and pictured in my mind. I hope my memory is good enough to always remember these things, but just in case I forget they'll be recorded here.

On Monday, my biggest surprise came from Janie. I knew that she had learned from watching Dana do his schoolwork. I knew she was smart. Still, she wowed me. She sat up straight and expectant as I gave her first one task and then another. Each time, she looked at me with eager eyes and said, "What's next Mommy?" AND, at the very end, when I had run out of things to do with her, she said, "Is that it?" She was smiling, but I could tell she expected more of a challenge. After all, she's been working quietly beside Dana for over a year, listening as we work and singing along to the little kindergarten songs we sing. Why am I surprised at all?

One of the greatest joys of teaching my children at home is watching their God-given desire to learn flourish and blossom all on it's own. I can't take any credit for their desire to learn. God made them curious and creative, and I get to be the one to guide their discoveries. This week, I have so enjoyed watching my little Clara Joy learn along side her big sister. She sits quietly next to me while Janie works on this or that project. Every so often, Clara shows me a letter she has drawn or asks me to recreate the work Janie is doing, so that Clara can do it too. Her drawing and hand-eye coordination have come so far, and I'm not making her do anything. I just get to watch her learn and grow all on her own.

Dana is doing well too. Handwriting has been a little painstaking, but he's making improvements and as far as I can tell, he's right where he should be. So far, Math appears to be his strong subject, which is funny, if you know me. Math was always a struggle for me. What struck me about this week wasn't his lessons or the strides he made in Reading or Math. It was his compassion for his little sisters and brother. This morning, as he left for the first soccer practice of the season, he wouldn't leave until he kissed each one of his sisters and his baby brother goodbye. He also took a minute to reassure Janie that it wouldn't be long until she had her first practice too and that he wouldn't be gone very long. She really is his closest friend and he knew she was sad that they were on separate teams this year. I can't help but look forward to the day when he shows that kind of sympathy and love with his own children. He's my sweet boy.

It's been a good week and I'm ready for that lazy Sunday nap, even though it's still Saturday.

It's begun

2009-08-06T09:14:00.003-04:00

I'll actually start teaching next Monday, but really, the school year has begun. Matt's back to work, I'm planning and brainstorming for Dana's 1st grade curriculum, and we're back to our normal daily routines, minus a formal teaching time (we're always learning). It's a good feeling over all, but still a bit hard to say goodbye to our fun summer. The kids are sad that Daddy's gone all day again, but life is simpler and Matt's got a clear daily purpose again.

And while I'm feeling inspired and energetic, I'll put in a little plug for our curriculum. So far we have used My Father's World for Kindergarten and we're about to use it for 1st grade as well. It's been a perfect fit for us, because it's very hands-on Charlotte Mason approach to education, and yet it's planned out for me, with careful lesson plans for each day of the year. Kindergarten took us about an hour or more to complete each day, with a lot of our play and outings focused on the same weekly themes. Dana seemed to catch concepts instead of me having to drill it into him. On the whole, it was very natural and it suited Dana's personal learning style so well. The fact that he still loves learning is testimony to that. The next best thing about it, though was that it was so inexpensive, literally less than half the price of other comprehensive curriculums. This year, I'm really excited about his 1st grade curr. It's very hands-on again, and the theme for the year is Bible History. Everything he will study falls under that umbrella, which reminds me of something I forgot to mention. I have really appreciated the way MFW teaches from a biblical world view without being isolationist. MFW does a great job of insulating children from the secular world around them, not isolating them from it. Children study the world that they're actually in, and they engage their culture, while at the same time understanding that God is sovereign over it. MFW isn't the only curriculum like this, but I'm thankful that it's so well-done. I'm too mentally scattered to pull something like this off on my own, and that's the truth.

So, even if you're not clicking over to their website to order their stuff :), I have to put in another plug for the art program we're starting this year. This book is amazing.

The cover illustration was drawn by a 5 year old after taking an art class with the monart method. The monart method teaches children (or adults) to recognize basic line shapes (squiggly, curly, angled, etc.) in what they see and to use that art alphabet and their imagination to draw (or paint) a creative and more skilled picture. Before I teach it, I'm supposed to go through the exercises myself, which may take a few days. In the meantime, I'm really excited to see how Dana does. He's already showing so much natural artistic talent that I know he'll love this.

What about you? Anything you're excited about teaching this year?

It's been awhile...

2009-07-27T08:51:00.002-04:00

I'll post something soon I promise, even if it's just for myself. We've been soooo busy and I am just plain tuckered out from it all. But here we are, one week left of summer. Matt has inservice next week, starting Monday. As hard as it is to say goodbye to the summer break, I think we'll all benefit from some sort of regular routine again. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the spontenaity a little longer and procrastinate my homeschool to do list for a bit. Whatever it is that I need to do can certainly wait one more week, right?

what to do with broken crayons no one will use

2009-05-24T20:37:00.001-04:00

A fun project for this week. I'm excited.

our butterflies

2009-05-18T12:47:00.004-04:00

are dead, but we enjoyed watching them grow in our butterfly garden

need I say more?

2009-05-13T13:05:00.001-04:00

My sister...

2009-05-11T15:15:00.002-04:00

is a cooking genius! I'm definitely not a cooking genius, but I love to cook too and in honor of our shared interest, we've launched a cooking blog. It's all about what we're making for dinner. She's providing the adventurous recipes and I'm providing the kid-oriented ones. Well, it probably won't be that cut and dry, but check it out here.

something funny

2009-05-05T09:50:00.000-04:00

the warm weather is here

2009-04-25T15:02:00.003-04:00

more fun

2009-04-16T20:33:00.001-04:00

ABCs and 123s

2009-04-15T09:06:00.003-04:00

If you have kids and you like They Might Be Giants even a little bit, you've got to check these videos out. They're on youtube, but I think we'll need to buy the DVD/CD combo sets sometime soon. Thanks to Michelle for reminding me about these last night. Now I'm wondering how we could get the whole family to a concert somewhere.

2009-04-14T13:47:00.008-04:00

Check this out. It's part funny, part true, part offensive. Click on it to enlarge and read he text this is a Good Housekeeping article from 1955 and I've had it emailed to me a few times.

What I do like about it is that it encourages wives to put their husbands first. What I don't like is the underlying assumption that husbands shouldn't be expected to lift a finger or that men are somehow superior to women. Obviously, some of the comments are a little over the top. You can't help but laugh at most of it. Thankfully, I have a husband who sacrifices himself daily for me and for our kids. He's very helpful and doesn't get bent out of shape about our cluttered house, because he knows I'm doing my best.

today

2009-04-11T20:36:00.002-04:00

This week was Matt's spring break and we just wrapped up our restful week with a very busy work day at our house. I'm lacking the mental power to explain it all, so I'll just say that I'm so grateful for the generosity of the folks who came to share their labor today. We are so blessed with great friends.

And on top of all of this, it's Easter weekend. In all of the hustle to get the house ready for the work day and keep the work day running, I've had no time to reflect or to share the Easter story with the kids again. Even though the kids got to bed late tonight, I kept them up just a bit longer to tell the Easter story to them. I tried to tell it simply, though that's hard to do with certian details. I told them more about how Jesus suffered than I've ever shared with them and thankfully, instead of squirming and being silly, they took it all in and listened with thoughtful eyes. At one point, when I told them about Jesus' loved ones standing close to him as he died, Dana's eyes welled up with tears. He said, "Mommy? Was His mommy so sad?" He wiped his eyes and I couldn't help crying with him. Dana's only 6, but he knows what it cost Jesus to die that horrible death. Thankfully the story doesn't end there and we were able to talk about Jesus coming to life again with a new body, just like we will some day. You know, even with the diaper changes, messy bath times, stomach viruses, and sleepless nights it's my joy to be their mommy and there's little in this world that compares with watching their eyes light up with love for Jesus. And as I bumble through the daily tasks that make up my life with them I'm clinging to the power that Jesus showed when He conquered death and saved us from ourselves. I don't have it all together and my crazy messy house stands as a testament to that. I need my Savior and I'm so glad He lives.

2009-04-02T09:36:00.002-04:00

Matt updated our mac from tiger to leopard and now I can't upload pictures to my blog or to anything else... we're working on it, but I have a feeling that there won't be much progress until after Spring break. Both of us are teaching Sunday school this quarter and Matt's finishing up a seminary class and taking an exam.

So no pictures. But, I'll leave you with this fabulous quote from Dana.

I'm ironing in the kitchen and Dana says (as if I'm the child and he's the Daddy), "Wow, Mommy! You're ironing! Good for you!"

Dems haven't given up on FOCA, St. Louis Catholic hostpitals discuss civil disobedience and the possibility of closing their doors

2009-03-06T13:20:00.001-05:00

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/religion/story/E6E47067257DB95E862575710014DD57?OpenDocument

joy in the little things

2009-03-04T10:08:00.002-05:00

Clara ate a whole English muffin this morning and she's been much easier to handle so far. I know that God worked through our friends and family's prayers, because today feels so much more hopeful and calm. Jonathan even sat happily in his baby swing while I made breakfast, which never happens, even on a good day. Over the past few nights, this bedtime song of ours has been bringing tears to my eyes. I'm sure you know it well, but it's especially sweet to me right now.

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus loves me, this I know
for the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong,
they are weak,
but he is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible tells me so.

When my little ones are sick, really sick, the only true comfort to me is knowing that they belong to Him and that He's far stronger and wiser than me. And I'm so thankful at times like these that He works through our neighbors and loved ones to care for Clara and for me. The bonds of the body of Christ are really beautiful to witness, even when it's shown through a phone call or a small act of kindness.

a little discouraged

2009-03-03T22:21:00.002-05:00

We've been to the ER twice this week and it's only Tuesday. Yesterday Clara had a fever over 105 and she's been struggling with vomitting and diarrhea. Her fever is gone today and she's doing better, but we're fighting to keep her hydrated and she's been a bit of a tyrant to care for. I'll be honest. I'm wiped out and really weary of the whole thing, but I know things may get worse and I'm trying to steel myself against the possibility of Jonathan or one of the other kids catching this. I'm praying and praying about this, but I know God is good despite the worst case scenario. If you think of it, will you pray for us? I need the grace to get through tomorrow and I would so love to see Clara all better. I hate to see her laid low and miserable and I really don't want to go through this with anyone else.

Four Months

2009-03-02T09:29:00.003-05:00

Just read a helpful link about introducing solids to breastfed infants. It's been on my mind lately and I think this time I'm going to try something different. I've always struggled to maintain a decent milk supply into the later months of my baby's first year and so I'm going to hold off on the solids for a bit. I'm going to try to feed him more often during the morning hours and wait until he's clearly reaching for our food to introduce any solids. For a number of reasons, this just feels right for me and for him.

On a side note, Clara Joy is beginning to recover from a horrible 24 hour stretch of vomiting and nausea on top of the chest cold that's been lingering for far too long. Can Spring come quickly enough? I'm praying that no one else gets it and that we can enjoy some blissful good health soon. In the meantime, we're hibernating with some redbox movies and plenty of clear liquids. Peace and health to you and yours.

momentary truce?? ;)

2009-02-28T20:29:00.003-05:00

just a little shot from the aquarium today

wherein my blog begins to be more than just text

2009-02-26T16:57:00.004-05:00

Well folks, I finally have a camera and even though it's not the one I was drooling over, it's here. AND, just to prove that I can post a photo still, I'll post a picture, demonstrating the effects of no sleep and a lousy cough (and a slightly crooked smile, what's that about?). Lovely circles under the eyes, eh?

Since that wasn't really blogworthy or incredibly interesting, here are a few others from our first day with the new camera...

deal

2009-02-23T08:05:00.000-05:00

"Diapers are on sale up to 20% off at diapers.com

And if you use the coupon code THAT2215 you get $10 off, FREE 2-day shipping, and NO SALES TAX

I just wanted to share, I’m sure there are other mommies out there who could use a good deal!"

Saw this on craigslist this morning. Enjoy!

sigh

2009-02-20T09:39:00.002-05:00

headache, swollen glands, sore throat... let the fun begin. I think I'll have a cup of hot tea and wade my way through some laundry piles that are mocking me.

The house is a mess, but why not make another one? ;)

2009-02-19T14:29:00.001-05:00

I want to make this.

fog

2009-02-17T09:15:00.002-05:00

So I'm not really great with words these days. I've got that befuddled mind that settles in somewhere around month two with a newborn. I find myself stuttering through sentences while I talk to other adults or when I'm talking to the kids. I'm not complaining about the baby. He's pretty amazing and I love being his mommy. I do wish I had some more clarity of mind though.

I keep writing posts in my head and then lose them somewhere between nursing sessions and homeschooling. My life is so full right now. In all of the business, my rattled brain is constantly forgetting what day it is and a million other important things. And now I'm shedding all kinds of unnecessary things that bog me down, like perfectly folded clothes and socks that match. Until today I never realized what fun it was to set the jam, bread, and peanut butter on the table and watch the kids make their own lunch. Sure they were a wee bit peanutty in the end, but we all had fun and no one whined impatiently for me to hurry up with the sandwiches. I'm not fighting the girls to put on a matching outfit anymore either. If they want to live life in a frilly dress from the closet, so be it. I don't have time to enforce a pointless rule that makes us all unhappy. Man, I've been such a control freak. I'm trying to mend my ways.

Also, just an update on the baby sling... I'm lovin' my Maya wrap. I haven't tried much else besides the Bjorn, but I love that I can take him out of the house at naptime and let him sleep in the sling. No more baby screaming from the carseat anymore while I'm cruising Target! Most of the people I meet when we're out wrapped up love it and make lots of comments about how comfy he looks. It'll really come in handy on the big whopper of a camping trip we're going to take this summer. I don't know how he'll sleep otherwise.

Hey, one more thing about the Bean (aka Jonathan). He's lovin' his toys, but I haven't been able to find his little play mat with the hanging toys. Does anyone have a playgym-type mat that I could borrow for a few months?

He sucks his thumb

2009-02-06T18:52:00.001-05:00

If he weren't already cute enough...

Guess who's learning to read?!!!

2009-02-03T11:10:00.003-05:00

Okay, so our camera is officially dead and this picture is a backwards webcam shot... but check it out! My boy is sounding out words and soaking this stuff up like a sponge! This picture he made is of Matt doing karate and it says "MASTER DAD". Can I get an Amen?

just a little update

2009-01-29T21:14:00.002-05:00

We heard back from the pediatrician about Jonathan's whooping cough test and it was negative. After two rounds of antibiotics, he's starting to kick his ear infection too. I'm so thankful that he's starting to feel better and that we're both getting some sleep again. The older kids are on the mend too. Janie is half way through her second round of antibiotics and appears to be getting over the ear infection and strep and the other two are over their cough. We even went to the playground today, which was such a treat. We've been so cooped up and crabby. The sun was shining and the kids played so well with some lovely new little friends. Five kids all very close in age and homeschooled too... a huge encouragement to me. The kids played so nicely and I got to chat with their mom and her friend for a bit. I've been discouraged with homeschooling lately and so lonely. I know God orchestrated the whole thing and I'm so thankful for it.

With the weather and all of the kids being sick, discipline has kind of been an uphill battle lately, culminating tonight with all of the kids whining the entire way through dinner. Everyone hated what I made and I don't know why, but that's always so hard to take. I don't know how to make dinnertime more peace and less war. It's always a battle of wills and whining, well not when we eat pizza or hot dogs :). The other parenting issue is screaming and crying. When Janie gets hurt or when she gets in trouble, she screams so loud that she makes herself hoarse, or she runs into her room and starts sobbing and intermittently crying out for one of her favorite people like Daddy or Grandma Pam or Grami, not me of course. Maybe God's humbling me, because for the first time in a long while, I really don't have the slightest clue about a solution to all of this. I'm praying about it and I know God's at work in this, but I'm so tired and out of ideas. It's funny that the further into mothering I get, the less I know ;).

In the meantime, I'm waiting on God to give me some new insight and I'm enjoying the sunshine that's been pouring in my windows and the bare beautiful tree limbs outlined against the sky.

a new recipe

2009-01-29T09:20:00.006-05:00

I clipped this out a long time ago and stuck it in my recipe binder, but never made it until last week. It's pretty good especially if you like rutabaga, mmm. I mentioned it on facebook and Allison asked for the recipe, so here it is. Gail L. Jenner from Etna, California submitted it to Southern Living, but I don't know which issue it was in. My apologies to the MLA.

"Can't Be Beat Pot Roast" from Southern Living

1 3-to-4-lb. beef chuck roast
1 T. cooking oil (I used olive oil)
1/3 c. sweet Marsala wine (didn't have any, so I used Merlot)
2 t. dried basil, crushed
1 t. garlic salt
1/2 c. plum preserves (didn't have it, so I used strawberry)
4 med. potatoes, peeled and cut lengthwise into sixths
4 medium carrots, peeled, cut in half lengthwise, and halved crosswise (I used baby carrots)
1 large rutabaga*, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks
1 med. onion, cut into large wedges
2 t. cornstarch
1 T. cold water

1. Preheat oven to 350. In a 6- to 8-quart Dutch oven brown meat on both sides in hot oil. Drain off excess fat. In a small bowl stir together Marsala wine, 1/3 c. water, basil, garlic salt, and 1/2 t. pepper; pour over meat. Cover and bake for 1 1/2 hours.
2. In a small saucepan melt preserves; pour over roast. Add potatoes, carrots, rutabaga, and onion to Dutch oven around meat. Cover and bake 45 minutes to 1 hour longer or until meat and vegetables are tender, stirring vegetables once during cooking. Transfer meat and vegetables to serving platter; cover to keep warm.
3. For gravy, measure juices and skim off fat. If necessary, add enough water to juices to equal
1 1/2 cups. Return to pan. Stir together the cornstarch and the cold water. Stir into juices in the pan. Cook and stir over medium heat until thickened and bubbly; cook and stir 2 minutes more. Serve with meat and vegetables. Makes 8 servings. (We got two meals out of this)

*Rutabaga looks like a huge turnip. It tastes like a cross between a carrot and a cabbage and it's delicious cut up in sticks and eaten fresh. If you don't like rutabaga, you could put a different vegetable in there or just add twice the potatoes and carrots. But, how could you not like rutabaga?!

lurkers speak up

2009-01-26T22:01:00.003-05:00

I need a good breast pump. Jonathan won't take a bottle of formula when I have to be gone for more than an hour. I've used the Avent Isis manual pump and it's useless to me. I can't get more than an ounce of milk, so I sold the one I had at the last Jack and Jill Sale. Have any of you used the Dr. Brown's electric single pump or the Lansinoh double electric pump? OR do you have one you like that's under $100?

my new favorite thing...

2009-01-26T13:05:00.002-05:00

the maya wrap... it's so handy with a sick baby that won't sleep.

want a nasty cough?

2009-01-21T22:00:00.002-05:00

Come and visit us and you might just catch one. Four kids with ear infections and the littlest one might have whooping cough. We've got two Blockbuster movies, tons of antibiotics and we're fully prepared to hole up and hibernate until it's over. I'm going to grab a cough drop and hit the sack. Nighty night everyone.

so I'm not exactly current, but...

2009-01-08T09:27:00.002-05:00

Have YOU heard about this yet? Are you as frustrated as I am with TVA for not being forthright with the public about this?

Read about the TVA Coal Ash Disaster in Kingston, TN and check this out too

Yay!

2009-01-06T13:07:00.001-05:00

My smiley baby just laughed at me ;)

Christmas pics slideshow with a million outtakes

2009-01-01T09:13:00.001-05:00

Christmas Photo Shoot

Belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T19:43:00.002-05:00

logic

2008-12-18T09:22:00.002-05:00

J- Dana. Transform this for me. (impatiently handing him transformer)
D- Ya know, you might wanna practice a bit so I don't have to do it for you EVERY time.
J- No. I already did try and it didn't work.
D- Well... try try again.
J- Dana! I'm waiting for my muscles to grow strong enough!
D- If you wait that long you'll be a grown up and then you won't remember!

Last night was freak out your mommy night at the Monahan house

2008-12-14T16:45:00.003-05:00

Last night around 2am, I heard Dana outside the back door, calling to Matt. He said, "Daddy?! Daddy?! Where are my clothes?" I heard the door open and shut and, thinking I might be dreaming, I told Matt what I heard and he flew out of bed, shouting, "Who is that?!!" I think Matt thought someone was breaking in to our house. I've never seen him wake up so fast. Poor Dana was crying by this point, but still not awake. When Matt brought him to our bed, he insisted that Daddy was waiting for him outside and if he could just get his clothes on, then he could go help Daddy out with the treehouse. Evidently, while he was sleeping, he climbed down from the top bunk and searched his room for his clothes. When he couldn't find them, he wrapped himself up in a blanket and went in search of Matt. He unlocked the back door and went outside. Thankfully, he went out the back door which is right next to our bedroom, so we heard him. Had he gone out the front door, I don't know what would have happened. We're so close to a busy street. The freaky thing is that his eyes were open and you'd never know that he was really asleep by looking at him. He really could have hurt himself. Yes, this is what kept me awake long after he finally fell asleep again. I spent the next two hours thinking of what-ifs and worrying about future nights.

Simultaneously, Jonathan decided to sleep an 8-hour stretch last night, which was wonderful. Even after four babies, though, I still get paranoid the first few times it happens. So... while I worried about Dana, I worried about Jonathan as my chest swelled and throbbed. Finally, I went to get him up. I figured if I was going to be awake worrying, I could at least get through the inevitable feeding at the same time, right? Then, Aaaaaa! Where is the baby? Jonathan was completely covered up in his warm winter blanket. How he was even breathing is beyond me. Thankfully, he was just fine and blissfully sleeping away, but I woke him anyway and boy did he have an appetite. Good thing, cuz he had one whopper of a dinner to eat.

So that was my night last night and tonight I'm left wondering what to do about my sleepwalking boy. Obviously we need to put an extra lock high up on the doors, but does anyone else have any experience with this?

I'm considering moving him to the bottom bunk and seeing a urologist to determine if this could be bladder-related. I read that kids with distended bladders deal with this too and a couple things have happened since this summer that made me think he might have a bladder problem. He holds his water pretty well, but too well I think. He went two days without peeing this summer. AND... distended bladders are supposedly connected to constipation, which he definitely deals with all the time. Alright, TMI. This entry is officially over.

Three years

2008-12-13T09:02:00.002-05:00

I'm so thankful for my Clara Joy. God used her to humble me and grow me over and over again. I've had to learn to love more selflessly and I've had to learn to wait on God's timing and not mine.

Clara Joy has always been marked by extremes. She was so colicky that I almost never left the house after she was born and yet she smiled and laughed earlier than any of her siblings. She hardly slept for the first year and a half, but she kept us all so entertained that it didn't feel so bad. Her curiosity has gotten her into more than one dangerous scrape, but her determination enabled her to totally potty train herself (thankfully, because I was oh so sick and pregnant). Clara means "clear and bright" and joy, well, is joy. God so perfectly orchestrated her name to fit her little unique self and I'm so thankful that she's mine. There were nights that I held her screaming little body and wondered why God made her the way he did and now, looking back, I can see the beauty and handiwork in her steel will and curiosity. She's a remarkable work of art and I would love to get a glimpse of who she will be some day. Whatever she will do will surely be done whole-heartedly and well.

Happy Birthday sweet girl! You're precious to us and to your Heavenly Father.

my happy babe, my lousy camera

2008-12-12T09:02:00.003-05:00

Woo Hoo!

2008-12-10T08:40:00.001-05:00

Baby slept seven hours at a stretch last night!

brother and sister

2008-12-09T12:53:00.004-05:00

Although, sometimes I get tired of the never-ending requests to hold Jonathan, I can't get enough of the sweet moments I've seen between Janie and her new baby brother. To say she adores him would be a serious understatement, and I think he's starting to feel the same way about her. Aside from me, the only other person he smiles for is Janie. Last night while I was making dinner and listening to my Wailin' Jennys Pandora station, Janie was dancing for Jonathan while he sat in the bouncy seat. She liked the music and started to dance and then realized that Jonathan was watching her intently. Then she told me she was going to dance the baby dance for him, a special dance she created just for him. She danced for half and hour and he was mesmorized by her. I wish I had a picture. Their relationship is even sweeter because I think I was the same age as she is when my little brother came home from the hospital. I still remember how much pride I took in being my mom's little helper and how much I loved his sweet babyness. So, yes our days are busy and I still haven't figured out how I'm going to manage my time, but I'm comforted to know that the most important things are going well and getting better each day.

O, and the pictures above are from right after lunch today. Jonathan was fussing in his bouncy seat and the only time he stopped was when Janie cooed to him and rubbed his back through the back of the seat. So, so sweet to witness.

a new season

2008-12-03T16:59:00.003-05:00

Now that I've got a newborn to look after again, I'm starting to reprioritize my time and rethink all of my routines/or lack there of. One major change has been the way I grocery shop and cook. Those of you who know me well, know that I love to cook and love to try new things. Pre-Jonathan I shopped for groceries once a week and usually came up with a new menu each week and made my shopping list from that menu. Now that my time is a little more scarce, I've got a new plan which is a lot more structured and, sadly, a bit boring. I know you're dying to know (probably not), so I'll tell you the plan. ;)

From here on out, I shop for groceries once every two weeks and we have a menu that's mostly the same every week.

The Boring Menu...
Mondays- Spaghetti, Bread, and Salad
Tuesdays- Soup or Stew and Bread
Wednesdays- Hot Dogs and Mac'n Cheese (Annie's)
Thursdays- Homemade Pizza and Veg
Fridays- Quiche and Salad
Saturdays- Something Different! (The only two recipes I have to come up with each time)
Sundays- Leftovers... I refuse to cook on Sunday anymore. It's way too draining.

Here's how it helps me:

This will help me not to space out in my sleep-deprived stupor and forget half of my ingredients
It should also help me take less time to make the menu and grocery list when it's time.
It also saves me time when I cook, because I can make double or triple batches of things and save them to pull out for the next week, instead of eating the same thing for three days in a row.
What I like too, is that the routine of this all allows me to keep cooking healthy and not succomb to fast food dinners. As easy as they are, they don't help my kids to grow and thrive well.

Just a picture to keep you from being visually bored... This is a sample of Matt's crazy dinners for the kids. When I'm gone or sick, he puts the leftovers together to make some funny sculptures for the kids.

A new addition

2008-12-02T08:46:00.001-05:00

Work on the Tree House

thinking of Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T11:43:00.002-05:00

I've been composing posts in my mind for weeks, and none of them seem to make it to this page. My mind's a little numb and my words are so slow, but rather than wait for the muse to strike, I'll just muddle through and try to say what's swimming around up there, regardless of how well I write it.

The last month or so has been so busy and emotionally charged. Political debates, a national election, a failing economy, a huge depressing bailout, a beautiful new baby, toddler temper tantrums, glorious Fall weather, and other things I can't remember now...

And today I'm thinking about the Pilgrims and the hardships that they suffered so they could worship God in peace. They braved an ocean, endured months of putrid food, stale air, filthy surroundings, and endless nausea, all the while praising a good God who brought them safe passage. They arrived at Plymouth, worked tirelessly to build shelter and find food, only to starve and freeze through two winters. Their suffering must have been beyond anything a spoiled American like me can imagine. And yet, they had the God-given wisdom and faith to know that God was with them, sustaining them, guiding them, and protecting them against unbelievable odds. Their Thanksgiving was an offering of thanks despite circumstances, not like ours. They knew that God gives and He takes away, and they could articulate this even in the face of starvation and death. They knew that serving God and obeying Him was more important than living comfortably.

In the midst of our nation's uncertainty and financial crisis, I am thankful for the legacy of the Pilgrims, for their faithfulness and example.

God help me to praise you in all things, in joy and hardship and give me the grace to obey and follow you even when it costs me dearly.

Minor Victories

2008-11-22T08:55:00.002-05:00

Dana finally lost his tooth (two weeks ago, I'm behind)! AND he completely shocked me by pulling it out himself, which is a huge thing to him. With all of his ear infections over the years, he has a really hard time trusting us when we say something won't hurt. The fact that he pulled it on his own makes the next several loose teeth seem so much less daunting. Hurray for my big boy taking charge!

The kids announced to me yesterday that they love chili and my pickiest eater (Dana) even pronounced it his favorite food! For those of you who know my kids, this is almost as miraculous as a dead man being raised. Chili has lots of different ingredients all mixed up, in sauce no less, and that's down right offensive to our little diners. As corny as it sounds, I'm seriously grateful for this little victory. It's one more cheap and healthy meal that I can make and know they'll eat and one less stressful dinner time when everyone complains about the food.

I think I've figured out what's been bothering Jonathan... It's too loud over here. Who'd a thought? So, this weekend, we're going to get all of the baby gifts out of his crib in Clara's room and start laying him down in his crib instead of the bassinet in our room (the room with no doors!). We may even temporarily move Clara to the big kid room until he's sleeping through the night...

the spell has broken

2008-11-17T09:33:00.002-05:00

My sweet, seldom crying baby let me have it last night. All in all, it still wasn't too bad, but it appears that he's human and that he's going to cry sometimes. Let's pray he doesn't get colicky all of a sudden and let's pray that Mommy makes it through the day without falling asleep standing up. I've still got homeschooling to do, a doctor's appointment to get through, and a bunch of maternity clothes to yank from my drawers. Hmm... maybe I should leave the clutter for the day and take the kids to the park... maybe.

Good or bad?

2008-11-16T15:40:00.001-05:00

TV Reviews

So what does this say anyway? I think it says that I have two scripture references in the template and they're throwing the results.

The kids are happy and Jonathan's sleeping, so...

2008-11-12T09:04:00.003-05:00

I'll pop in for a minute to let you know what's been going on around here.

First, those of you who love a good birth story will be disappointed. My labor was a really discouraging experience, except for his delivery of course. Everything was great until they gave me the IV drip, which is when my labor almost came to a halt and I got really weepy. Then, I made the really bad decision to try to speed things along with an epidural, even though I was managing the pain just fine (always worked with the other babies), which made things even less productive. Guilt, discouragement, feeling like a coward... these are all feelings that don't belong in labor. I went from about 3am to 8am like this, but thankfully my midwife arrived and broke my water. This got things going a bit, but after no significant progress, she started me on pitocin, which had to be upped three times while she manually dilated me. Thank you Lord that I didn't feel her do that. Shortly after 9am, she shocked me and said that she wanted me to push at will with each contraction. Within a few minutes I was feeling the need, but my emotions got the best of me and I just clung to the bed rails, crying. Here it was, my last baby and my last few minutes of carrying him inside of me. It was so sweet and painful all at the same time. When I let go and did what I knew I needed to do, out he came in three pushes. Matt caught him in his arms and held him while I took it all in. It's always so surreal. Joy and newness brimming over and I'm lost in it all, so much that I don't care that everyone in the room can see parts of me I wouldn't want my own mother to see, so much that the discouragement and sadness that overwhelmed me just a few minutes before is completely gone. Again, for the fourth time, I'm overwhelmed with the knowledge that God has made a little person, part me and part Matt and yet he's entirely new. He was then and he is now such a joy to us and to our family.

Since then, my mom came to help us for a few days, which was so very appreciated, and Matt's mom also came to get a peek at the baby for the weekend, which was a treat. Now all the help is gone, but so far so good. The kids really love their brother and he's proven to be pretty easy to spoil. He eats and sleeps well and he's about as snuggly as they come. I even managed to start up Dana's schooling again, which says a lot. Not that I'm so hyper-diligent, but this baby is amazingly easy!

More choppy/wordy updates to come. Baby needs nursing.

2008-11-11T14:53:00.002-05:00

First Few Days with Jonathan and Dana's first missing tooth

Here are some more recent pics. I'll update later, but so far the transition to four kids is much easier than the transition to three was. It also helps that Jonathan is a pretty laid-back baby.

Get out and vote!

2008-11-04T11:51:00.002-05:00

Here is a really amazing prayer spoken by John Piper (posted by my sister and her husband on their blog). It's truthful, honest, and reassuring on a day like this.

Slideshow photos of Jonathan

2008-11-02T19:16:00.003-05:00

Jonathan Reeve Monahan

2008-11-02T18:49:00.002-05:00

born October 31st, 2008
7 lbs. 6 oz.
20 1/2 in.

and well, the jury's still out on hair color. Looked red at first, but it's not a true red, not black... reddish brown? Auburn?

tooth trauma

2008-10-28T19:02:00.002-04:00

So after successfully making a really kick butt dinner, we start to set the table. Then, Dana, who is standing on a kid-chair in order to see the meatloaf on the counter, falls off the chair somehow and smacks his lower back and butt on the tile floor. He's screaming, gasping for air and in a general panic. Then, we finally get him calmed down and sit down to eat. After a few minutes, the boy bites down on his loose tooth so hard that Matt and I hear the skin-crawling crack of bone on bone. There went my appetite. Now he's screaming again and there's blood and the tooth is still in tact. Repeat the above trauma three times over and you have our dinner time.

When will this tooth come out???? The boy is in misery and every time he hurts himself by biting it, I go to eebie-jeebie land. Suggestions?? Anyone else had the same experience with a first loose tooth?

Apple Oatmeal

2008-10-28T08:42:00.002-04:00

2 1/2 c. water
2 small apples, diced
1 2/2 c. old fashioned oats
1 T. wheat germ, opt.
pinch of salt
sprinkle of cinnamon and/or nutmeg
brown sugar
milk

Boil water and apples together for a few minutes, or until apples have softened a bit. Add oats, wheat germ, salt, cinnamon and/or nutmeg. Simmer until oats are done (5 min?). Then spoon into bowls and top with brown sugar and a bit of milk.

more proof

2008-10-26T21:17:00.003-04:00

Obama says he voted against the Born Alive Infants Protection Act three times, because 1) an Illinois law protecting these infants already existed in Illinois and 2) because the BAIPA bill would threaten Roe v. Wade. Check the facts here. Judge for yourself who's telling the whole story.

No baby yet, but thinking...

2008-10-22T13:49:00.003-04:00

Last night I had several very uncomfortable contractions in a row, each one harder than the last one. As I rode them out I kept thinking that I wasn't ready to say goodbye to carrying this baby inside me. I am so very ready to see him and hold him, but it's bitter sweet this time. My pregnant days are ticking away and this is my last baby. My heart's full of memories from all four pregnancies, and the emotions are heightened by the abortion articles that I've been reading. I feel so thankful that I have been able to carry my four children and every bit of nausea, heartburn, weight gain, and pain has been worth it to bear these children and call them mine. Motherhood is a generous gift from a loving God and today I'm soaking up each minute, each kick, each sign of this baby's thriving life inside of me. What a contrast to the knowledge that 40 million babies in our country have been brutally slaughtered, passing from the warm safety of their mother's womb into a hateful cold death. The contrast leaves me trembling and in tears. I'm burdened to pray and to cry out to God for these silent, suffering little ones. Will you join me in praying for these babies? And if you're a mom, will you comment and share a treasured memory from your pregnant days? If your babies are adopted, will you share a memory from your adoption experience? Let this be a little ebenezer, proclaiming each baby's worth and the joy that motherhood is meant to be.

Before you vote...

2008-10-20T23:28:00.002-04:00

This is an exhausting and tense election. People I love fall on all sides and feel very strongly about what they believe. I don't want to enter into a lengthy debate over each candidate's platform. I'm very tired of the debate. Chalk it up to me being nine months pregnant and feeling like I could give birth any minute.

However, I did read an article that stunned me tonight. Maybe it will have no effect on you and maybe you'll think I'm off base to even post it. This is one of those times where I'm compelled to do what I would otherwise be too much of a coward to do. I know that many people feel that abortion has become a dead political issue, because it's been a fruitless struggle and little can be done in a pluralistic society like ours. While I disagree with you, I want to encourage you to read this article. It's written by a professor at Princeton who very clearly explains Obama's stance on abortion. His voting record is chilling. I've been debating whether or not to vote third party for awhile, but after reading this as well as paying close attention to each candidate's platform, I have made up my mind. I will not be voting third party.

May I encourage those of you who are pro-life and who are considering a vote for Obama to read this article and consider the effect Obama's extreme pro-abortion policies would have on so many women and children? My apologies to anyone I may have offended. I would simply like to pass this on to aid you in your effort to make an informed decision this election. Blessings to you and yours.

http://thepublicdiscourse.com/viewarticle.php?selectedarticle=2008.10.14_George_Robert_Obama%27s%20Abortion%20Extremism_.xml

My first tag

2008-10-19T14:56:00.004-04:00

My sister Katie tagged me. This is a blogging first for me, which isn't saying much, b/c I'm a lazy untalented blogger to begin with. ;)

5 Joys:

1. Matt. I went on an on about him a couple posts ago, so I won't go crazy listing why. Suffice it to say that those of you who know him understand that he's a joy to know, and for me a joy to be married to.

2. My kids, all four of them, even though I haven't met the fourth one yet.

3. Cooking. It's stress relief and cooking in the Fall is more than that. It's sheer delight. Fresh apple everything, stew in the crock pot, and fresh hot bread. What could be better on a chilly day when the air is crisp and clear?

4. Reading a very good book, when I don't have to be anywhere or be responsible for anyone.

5. Sleeping in. It's rare, but a guilt-free sleep in is golden.

5 Fears (I won't even list the 3am fears. They're over the top):

1. Making a major mistake with my kids and having them suffer as a result.

2. Looking like a fool in front of other people.

3. Snakes!!! This is a real phobia. I can't count the number of unprovoked nightmares I've had about snakes.

4. Dark water. Particularly falling into dark water and having something pull me down from the deep...

5. What's worse than #4 is my child falling into dark water and me possibly not being able to save them.

5 Obsessions:

1. Neat and tidy sheets and blankets while I'm sleeping.

2. Loading the dishwasher properly! Each piece has it's place for optimal cleaning and efficient loading.

3. Folding clothes the "right" way, although I've calmed down with this a bit. I need any help I can get these days.

4. Watching House. It's a great show. Even Matt likes it and he hates tv.

5. Reading all of your blogs! I check in way too often.

5 Surprising facts:

1. I used to be a bit of an artist and did pretty well with a pencil and/ or watercolor. I don't remember the last time I tried to create anything, but I used to love it.

2. I'm not just joking when I say my house is a mess. It really is.

3. There's nothing surprising about me!! This is pathetic. Sorry I'm cheating and calling it quits here.

Tag, your in the hot seat.

Linda
Vanessa
Lynn
Katie K
Keri

Proof that I climbed into a canoe 9 months pregnant

2008-10-16T17:33:00.001-04:00

Dontcha love the life jacket over the belly? ;)

Halloween issues

2008-10-14T13:14:00.006-04:00

So it's no secret that Matt and I have really struggled with what to do about Halloween. We've boycotted it some years and participated other years and we've never been completely satisfied with our stance on it. It can be a touchy issue and it's hard to find a good, biblically based discussion of it that both understands the danger of taking evil too lightly and yet isn't legalistic. We knew there had to be a middle ground, but struggled with what that was.

Thank you Wondergirl for your clear, bold blog post about why you choose to celebrate Halloween. I don't know you, but your stance on this was refreshing and right on. Interested?? Check it out here. It's a bit lengthy, but so very helpful. I think we'll actually buy a pumpkin and carve it this year...

Chicken Corn Chowder

2008-10-11T20:39:00.003-04:00

We had this for supper tonight. It's not the healthiest version, thanks to the cream of chicken soup, but it was easy to make and for the first time in a long while all three of the kids loved it. Thanks to my mom for helping me put a plan together. It's been so long since I made this that I didn't know where to start.

2 chicken breasts
1/2 an onion, diced
4 small potatoes, peeled and diced
4 t. chicken soup base
8 c. water
pinch of thyme
1 c. frozen sweet corn
can of creamed corn
can of cream of chicken soup

Cook the chicken breasts in olive oil. Salt them while they're cooking. Remove chicken breasts when cooked through and dice them. Set aside. Sautee onion in the same skillet and set aside. Put potatoes, soup base, water, and thyme in a dutch oven and boil until potatoes are tender. Add chicken, onion, sweet corn, creamed corn, cream of chicken soup and cook until heated through. We don't eat bacon, but if you do, some crumbled bacon would be a nice touch too. Serve with crusty bread or hot biscuits.

Easy, Lower Fat, Energy-Efficient Meatloaf

2008-10-08T12:47:00.007-04:00

"How can meatloaf be energy-efficient" you ask? In a quest to find any way to lower our astronomical energy bills, I've been getting a little creative. So here's how I make meatloaf these days...

You can do this with any meatloaf recipe, but here's mine if you're curious. I think I've posted it before. Warning: I dump a lot of ingredients and don't measure much. These are estimates and you might want to play with it a bit.

1-1/2 lbs. ground turkey (you can use beef too or a mixture of both)
1/2 c. Italian bread crumbs (way better than oatmeal if you ask me)
1 c. milk
2 eggs
1/4 c. wheat germ
1/4 c. minced onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 T. worchestershire sauce
salt
pepper
1/2 c. frozen, chopped spinach, THAWED AND DRAINED
generous squirt of ketchup or barbecue sauce
1 t. dry ground mustard

sauce--1/4 c. ketchup, 1 T. brown sugar, 1/2 t. worchestershire sauce

Heat oven to 350 and spray a muffin pan with nonstick spray. Mix all of the ingredients together with your hands (or upright mixer) until well mixed. Then, scoop into the muffin cups, dividing the meat mixture evenly among all the cups. Put them in the oven. They cook fast, so pay close attention to them. Let them cook for about 20 minutes, maybe more. In the last few minutes of cook time, put a dab of the sauce on top of each mini meatloaf and let it cook for a few more minutes before pulling it out again.

There you have it... meatloaf in 20 minutes ;). Less time in the oven and more money in the bank.

Blessings

2008-10-08T07:18:00.004-04:00

My anxious heart has been so heavy lately, but in the midst of the heaviness, God has gently pointed out so many blessings to me. Little rays of sunshine peek through and slowly He's bringing me bits of joy, reminders of His goodness and love for me. In thanks and praise, I want to list the highlights. God has been good to me and I want to be vocal about the good, like I am with the bad.

I have a husband who loves me, who's my best friend, really. He was made for me and we've both known it from the first few days we were obsessed with each other. In the early days it was late night talks, hysterical laughter, and the excitement of new love. Now, it's blossomed into knowing glances, hugs while I'm making dinner, late night exhausted heart-to-heart talks, laughing at our kids' antics, and a peaceful unity of mind and spirit that baffles me sometimes. Sharing this life with Matt has been the greatest joy I could have ever dreamed up for myself.

I have three, healthy, happy, inventive and beautiful children. I may not be the perfect mom, but amazingly they love me just the same. They are the funniest little companions to share my day with. I was thinking yesterday (thank you God for the reminder) about the often quoted biblical truth that children are a blessing. This is so really/practically true. So many more times than I can even remember, my little ones have encouraged me and spoken truth into a dark day. Their little hearts trust in Jesus openly and so fully. They're hungry to know about Him and worry about people we love who don't know him. I could say so much more, but for now I'm thankful for the three (really four) little miracles who I've been blessed to live with and sacrifice for. They're worth every minute.

I have two parents, still married, and a brother and sister. All of us share the same faith and we love each other, no matter that we're all pretty different. It's only as an adult that I've realized what a blessing this is. Family hurts run deep and I've had much fewer than most.

Although Matt and I have had our lean years financially, God has always provided for us and many times He's done it in miraculous ways. Money shows up at the door/mailbox in unmarked envelopes (more times than I can count), cars are GIVEN to us (three times), our pediatrician decides not to charge us and chalks it up to 'frequent flyer miles'. I'm sure I've forgotten a few too. We've suffered too, but I'm thankful for the unexpected gifts He gives us so generously.

There's more, but my fingers are tired. My heart is full and my breakfast is calling. Praise God who gives us more than we can ever ask or imagine.

worrying

2008-10-05T21:37:00.002-04:00

I suppose I've always been a worrier. I'm a pretty fearful person in general. Learning to trust a good God has been the hardest lesson I've been forced to learn (over and over). So tonight, after a busy day, I'm turning to "what-ifs" and sinking into guilt over things I've left undone and relationships I've let slip by uncultivated. My heart's heavy.

What has always helped me when I feel this way is to think through what it is I'm stressed about and speak a truth for every lie I'm telling about myself. It's corny, but it reminds me of the big picture and takes me out of the funk I'm in.

Tonight I'm stressed worrying about the kids. Dana and Janie stumbled into a ticks' nest in August when they were picking figs at a friend's house. I ended up picking about 5-10 deer ticks off of Dana and about 20 or more ticks off of Janie. I was really freaked out, but held off on rushing them to the doctor's office. Our pediatrician was on maternity leave and I am a little self conscious about being seen as an overprotective mom, so I decided to wait until I saw a rash (if one appeared at all). I checked their scalps regularly and behind their ears, but didn't notice anything unusual. A month later, I noticed a spot behind Dana's left ear, where I had picked a few of the ticks off. It was about the size of a brown mole, but lighter colored and ever so slightly lighter in the middle. It looked like a new mole, if you know what I mean. Now, two months after the tick bites, it looks like a very small target shaped rash and I feel terrible. He totally needed to be on antibiotics two months ago, when it first happened, but I chose to wait it out and now I really don't know what will happen. I need to get him in tomorrow.

Janie has been complaining of a sore throat all summer long. She's been checked out and they said she looked fine. I thought she was making it up, until she broke down to Matt crying and said that I didn't believe her and she was really sick. Ugh. So, what's bothering her? After finally sitting down to hear her out, it sounds like she's got some kind of acid reflux or something. She says her throat has fire in it when she lays down. Makes sense. I feel bad though, because I thought she was making it up to get out of going to bed. Again, ugh.

I have to say, I'm not feeling like supermom right now. The truth is that it's probably good not to feel like supermom. We see God's huge satisfying grace so much better when we know how weak and imperfect we are. I pray for God to pull me closer to Him and he's doing it. These are good things. It just hurts to fail my kids. I want to be an excellent mom, not just a decent one. I want to protect them, at least as much as I can. The hard thing comes when I realize that I'm just going to keep disappointing them. That's when I have to learn to trust that God's at work in me all the time, shaping me, changing me and that regardless of whether I'm supermom or not, he loves me, because of Jesus. AND, my kids aren't doomed to some horrible life. God's at work in their lives just like mine and he loves them too. Whatever comes, that's the big picture.

it's official

2008-10-01T07:50:00.005-04:00

I'm nesting. I usually pay for my hard work with some evening nausea, but it's so worth it. As of last night, Jonathan's bed is set up, his changing table is ready, his dresser is in place and full of clothes, the kids' summer clothes have been packed up, their warmer clothes are in their dressers, and the kids' rooms are a little better organized. Now for the rest of my list (below)...

a wee little list

2008-09-29T09:00:00.007-04:00

So laugh if you will, but this is the list of things I have to do before baby arrives. It's a little much and I'm not feeling the nesting energy yet. Maybe posting this will give me some motivation?

1-Pack a hospital bag... nursing bra CHECK!, comfy jammies CHECK, extra pillow, a few baby outfits, pictures of the kids (this really helps me in labor), snacks for Matt, slippers, toiletries, post baby outfit, a good book or two, list of phone numbers, camera, bowl of treats for visitors. Any other ideas???

2-Move dressers around, so baby gets the one that works for a changing table. CHECK!

3-Sort out kids clothes--summer clothes and too small ones in the attic, winter hand-me-downs down from the attic and put away, stained or ruined ones in a goodwill bag. CHECK!

4-Get baby gear and baby clothes down from the attic and set up/put away. CHECK!

5-Wash co-sleeper and dry in the sun. Set it up in our room. CHECK!

6-Put big rubbermaid tubs in my room in the attic. CHECK!

7-Finish Christmas shopping for the kids.

8-Deep clean the floors, bathroom CHECK!, and the kitchen. It's not pretty right now.

9-Make a childcare plan for labor/hospital stay.

10-Make a few double-batch meals so I can freeze half for later. This way whoever gets the kids can at least feed them.

11-Work with kids to make Halloween costumes... check American Thrift Store for deals??

12-Write thank yous for baby shower gifts.

13-Stock up on basic grocery items.

14-Vote early.

15-Buy a baby book.

16-Buy an inexpensive umbrella stroller with decent wheels. CHECK!

17-Stock up on nursing pads, pick up a few passies and nursing bras. CHECK!

I think I want this one...

2008-09-26T14:34:00.006-04:00

Bravado Body Silk Seamless Nursing Maternity Bra

(Click on the link to see a picture. It seems wrong to post a pic of a lady in a bra. know what I mean?)

microfiber
no underwire
optional cups
no seams across the front
really nice plastic clips
they're full figure version is supposed to be the best
AND I've never met someone who wore it and didn't rave about it, unlike the rest of the bras I've heard mixed opinions on

the problem? a whopping $47 price tag! yeesh. Maybe I'll buy just one and wear it to til it shreds??

thinking through details before baby comes... ladies only please

2008-09-25T20:14:00.003-04:00

To those of you who have an opinion on such things...

What kind of nursing bra do you prefer? Do you even use one? I've never found one I liked.

I know I had a few more questions, but my mind is blank...

more good news :)

2008-09-24T15:27:00.001-04:00

Geneticist appointment yesterday--all clear! No Marfan here!

And holy cow, 42 days left! I need to get to work...

very good news

2008-09-18T19:59:00.003-04:00

I had my cardiologist appointment today to review the echocardiogram and the heart monitor results. Dr. Mutter said that although he did notice a heart rate of 155 and several other things (PVCs, and some other acronyms I didn't recognize), my tachycardia was "sinus tachycardia", which in my condition was normal. He also described what they were screening for in the echo and said that they didn't find anything abnormal. After explaining all of this, he literally said, "Honey, you need to chill out and I wouldn't worry about your kids." In a nut shell, he doesn't think I have Marfan's Syndrome, which means he doesn't think the kids do either. I still have a geneticist appointment next week, and I suppose it's possible for her to be concerned still, but I'm not. I'm really encouraged and so very relieved. Thanks to those of you who were praying for us!

So I'm not just crazy...

2008-09-11T09:41:00.005-04:00

Check out this story from the Times Free Press. Evidently, there IS an unusually large number of yellow jackets this year.

for Darla

2008-09-11T07:16:00.002-04:00

the rest of the story... ;)

Yesterday, after only 3 hours of sleep, Clara was doing really well and she held down everything that I gave her. Pregnant mommy wasn't doing so well, but I don't know if I caught a touch of what the kids had or if I was just suffering from the lack of sleep. Today we're all feeling great. Janie could still get it, so we're still quarantined, at least until I'm pretty confident that we won't get anyone else sick. In the meantime, chicken soup is on the menu over here, as well as anything else that won't look nasty coming up again. Peace and sleep to the rest of you mommies out there who are sick with sick kiddos. There seem to be quite a few of us.

the bucket and washrag are out

2008-09-10T12:23:00.005-04:00

It appears to be that time of year again. We've got a stomach virus. First Dana got it, who handled it well, only throwing up twice and obediently resting for the rest of the day. Then, last night, two days later, Clara Joy got it pretty bad. She threw up every five minutes from 10:15pm to about 2:30am, then about every ten minutes for half an hour, and finally she fell asleep around 3am, only throwing up twice after that. It was horrible to watch. Nothing feels more helpless than pleading with God to heal your child, when you know full well that he could say "no", or "not yet". Last night she really suffered, but God's grace was pretty evident in the fact that she handled it so well, and (strangely) so did Matt and I. Usually, when something like this happens, there's a lot of crying and our tempers run short, especially in the wee hours. What was very evident last night was that Matt and I worked well together and Clara was very calm. There wasn't even much mess, which is mostly due to her expert handling of the bucket. God was very tangibly with us and we're thankful for that.

no news is good news so far

2008-09-09T08:18:00.003-04:00

I had my big appointment yesterday. I don't really know anything, but they did the echocardiogram and an EKG, and I got to talk with the cardiologist for a few minutes. He decided to put me on a heart monitor for 24 hours to check out the racing heart issue and I'm supposed to see him in two weeks to discuss all of this. The good thing is that if they thought I was in danger, I don't think they would have allowed me to wait two weeks to find out results. So, unless I hear from them in the next few days, I'm going to assume everything looks fine. No news is good news. In the meantime, I get to wear this snazzy getup...

you're probably sick of looking at my brother's head shot

2008-09-06T20:22:00.005-04:00

I keep starting posts and leaving them unfinished. It's so sad, but rather than wait for the time that won't come, I'm just going to post a quick catch up entry. Sorry for the lack of detail.

Dana turned 6 on August 22nd, leaving Matt and I feeling sentimental and so proud. Those of you who know him know why. From the first minute we held him and gazed into his face, we knew we'd been given an amazing gift. He's certainly not perfect, but there's no one like him, no one at all. Praise God for another year with our little man.

Dana and Janie just started to play soccer and they're both doing well. The league is very low pressure, with only practices once a week and no games. So far, the smiles outweigh the complaints and they both are learning a lot.

My mom, Clara Joy, and I took a trip up to Kentucky to visit my Aunt Sally this Labor Day. It was a pretty special trip in more ways than one. Clara really got a kick out of traveling with just Mommy and Grami, but I realized pretty quickly that Clara is more work without the older two around. A bored Clara Joy is a very naughty Clara Joy...

No news on the Marfan front. I have the long awaited echocardiogram on Monday, which I'm a bit apprehensive about. I've been dealing with some pretty high resting heart rates, which I have been told is normal. They feel pretty extreme though (133 bpm sitting in a chair, shortness of breath), so we'll see what the cardiologist says. If he's not worried, then I won't worry. I shouldn't waste time worrying anyway, at least that's what I keep telling myself. Dana had his six year check up on Friday and I got a chance to discuss the Marfan thing with our favorite doctor, Dr. Spraggins. Thankfully, she knew a good amount about Marfan. She was obviously concerned, but it's so comforting to know that she's well-informed and contributing to the discussion. I trust her opinion more than most doctors, because she's so balanced and she knows my kids so very well. If any of you are hunting for a pediatrician, I highly recommend her. She's an incredibly talented, godly doctor... such a blessing.

bait and switch

2008-08-27T20:14:00.002-04:00

So, our little family sat poised on the edge of my bed, watching the CBS Evening News, munching on popcorn... but no interview with Carl. Evidently, Carl's boss talked with Byron Pitts, the news anchor who interviewed Carl, today and Pitts is the one who said the segment would air tonight. However, his editor opted last minute to show more coverage of the Democratic National Convention instead. The kids are pretty disappointed, but Carl said the show was taped awhile ago and will air at a later date. I'll let you know when they schedule a date.

Just FYI, Byron Pitts is a stutterer too, which amazes me, because he's a news anchor for a major broadcasting company.

My brother is being interviewed on CBS Evening News tonight!

2008-08-27T14:01:00.005-04:00

How cool. My little brother is a speech pathologist and he works for the American Institute for Stuttering in New York City. My dad posted this on his facebook today.

"I just received a call from our son, Carl, letting me know the CBS Evening News will be running a feature tonight (8-27-08) about his employer: the American Institute for Stuttering (http://www.stutteringtreatment.org/). Carl works as a speech pathologist at AIS and is interviewed in the segment. They are running it tonight in order to coordinate with Joe Biden's speech this evening at the Democratic National Convention. As an adolescent Biden suffered from a debilitating stutter, and he was the featured speaker at AIS's annual fundraising banquet in Manhattan this year. I was Carl's guest at the event, and Biden's speech was unforgettable. He claims that dealing with stuttering was the single most galvanizing and important experience of his life. The reporter who interviews Carl, Byron Pitts, is also a former stutterer and served as the emcee at the same AIS fundraiser where Biden spoke.
If you are unable to watch the show this evening, I'm told the clip will be available for later viewing on the CBSNews.com website. I apologize for the late notice; they actually did the interview a few weeks ago, but moved it up in the schedule after Obama chose Biden as his running mate.
You can see a small part of Biden's speech in a clip on YouTube (Carl and I appear briefly) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hwk-pi5SNe4
And in case you missed it, the MTV show True Life did an episode on stuttering. Carl is interviewed briefly in the segment focusing on one of his AIS clients. If you have not seen it, here is the link: http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/truelife/episode/episode.jhtml?episodeId=127106"

If you have time, check it out! We're all so proud of him and what he does at AIS.

come on, take a guess

2008-08-26T20:03:00.003-04:00

Seeing as this is the last Monahan baby, at least as far as our plans go, we're a little preoccupied with guessing his hair color. Will we get ALL redheads? Or, will he be the only one who has hair more like his mama. We're curious to know what you think and, to be honest, the third trimester isn't feeling too great and this is a fun way to pass the time until he gets here. (Not like I don't have plenty to do... but you know what I mean.) Come on lurkers, speak up. ;) There's a poll to the right of this page.

it's who they are

2008-08-24T14:35:00.002-04:00

Matt and I had to laugh when we heard this mini conversation with the kids in the van on the way to church this morning. If you know my kids and their personalities, you'll know how perfectly this describes their differences.

Pulling out of the driveway, with Grami and Papi driving ahead of us...

Dana- (a little put out) "O Man, we're gonna lose the race!"

Janie- (adult-like and irritated with her brother) "I don't want to be in a race anyway."

Clara Joy- (excitedly kicking her legs) "Oooo! I wanna race! I wanna race!... I wanna run!"

More Marfan

2008-08-20T08:59:00.002-04:00

I met with a genetic counselor yesterday at Regional Obstetrics, the local perinatology office. I wasn't sure what to expect, but thankfully I was able to talk with the counselor for a long time and have an ultrasound and check up with Dr. Kipikasa (sp?). All in all, I feel very reassured that Marfan or not, I can expect a relatively safe delivery with Jonathan. Dr. K told me not to lose sleep over it (too late) and very calmly explained what they would do if my aortal root were dilated. He said I would have to deliver Jonathan passively, with an epidural, heart medicine, and forceps, but honestly, he was so calm about the whole thing that I didn't freak out. That says a lot for bedside manner.

Do I have Marfan? I don't know and they didn't know either. It's a complicated diagnosis to make. They did refer me to meet with a geneticist in September, after I've already had my echocardiogram. After meeting with the geneticist and the cardiologist, I'll see Dr. K again and they'll decide what to do from there. If the aortal root is enlarged, which would confirm the Marfan diagnosis, then I would have a passive delivery. If the aorta looks great, but they still think I have Marfan, then I'll have a normal delivery, but still technically be higher risk than the average woman in labor. If they say I'm perfectly healthy and are certain I don't have Marfan, then I'm in the clear and no worries about the delivery or my kids.

More waiting, but we have a game plan. They know what I know about my family and I'm in good hands. I'm counting my blessings and trusting that God has us securely in his hands.

sheer vanity

2008-08-15T12:57:00.004-04:00

Making pies, eating pies

After a fun morning of blueberry picking with a few good friends and all of our hot sweaty children, I decided to try to make my first blueberry pie. In an effort to economize, I decided to use up some overly ripe peaches in another pie. Why heat up the house for one pie if you've got room for two and the oven's already on?

Why is baking a pie so satisfying? Maybe this is how neatnicks feel when they've cleaned their whole house. I don't know for sure, because I'm hardly neat and tidy. I do love the simple pleasure of making something tasty with my own two hands, especially when I get to see the whole family loving every messy bite.

still waiting

2008-08-14T14:58:00.005-04:00

So apparently I don't know the difference between an EKG and an echocardiogram, and there is one. When I asked my midwife to order an EKG for me to be screened for Marfan-related heart issues, she happily did so. However, I didn't know that I really needed an echocardiogram and I didn't know that they were two different things. I'm sure she knew that, but she didn't know enough about Marfan to know what would be the appropriate test either. So, I went in for my EKG today and realized that I was having the wrong test done. The technician who handled my test did reassure me that an EKG would be useful, but that I would for sure need both tests. Ugh. This basically means more waiting and appointments and struggling to make appointments because of childcare issues. Man, I wish my parents or at least some family lived close by.

In the meantime, I've learned a lot more about how Marfan could affect pregnancy and childbirth. IF my aortal root is abnormally large, which is a big IF (I don't know if I have the Marfan Symdrome anyway), then I would have to get an epidural and I would not be allowed to push Jonathan out. They would have to extract him when I was fully dilated, either with forceps (yipes!) or with the vacuum thingy. Mainly, the concern is that the pressure from pushing and straining through contractions could cause the aorta to dissect or rupture, which could kill me. Again a huge IF, because my aorta would have to be larger than normal, and I've already had three children with no trouble. There's also some risk of clotting, but I don't understand that completely. Supposedly, pregnant women with Marfan take a combination of Heparin and Beta Blockers for most of their pregnancies. If you know what these are and how they work, than you understand more than I do. Anyway, like I said, I'm waiting to know more, and trying to rest in the knowledge that God is in control of this, one way or the other. So far Jonathan is healthy and as far as I know, I am too. Both are blessings.

Dana speaks up

2008-08-13T09:13:00.002-04:00

On the way back from night church last Sunday...

Dana:"Mommy, I want to be in charge of something."

midwife appt yesterday

2008-08-08T07:46:00.004-04:00

So it appears that my placenta is no longer down low, which is very good news. Barring some last minute emergency or something else, I can deliver him without a c-section! It really is a relief. I've never had one and I don't care to have one. Obviously, if I needed one in an emergency, then I would happily do whatever was necessary to keep him healthy. In the end, that's the most important thing anyway.

I'm measuring huge for 27 weeks. The midwife in training who handled my appointment measured me twice, because she didn't believe it. I'm five weeks ahead in uterine size, which is pretty large. Jonathan is measuring about a week ahead in length and everything else, and I have a little bit of extra fluid, but the main culprit seems to be being pregnant four times. I suppose I shouldn't expect to look like the tiniest pregnant lady in the world ;).

He was awfully cute in the ultrasound. Janie came with me this time and she loved it. Maybe he knew his sister was watching, because he yawned on the screen for her. With as many ultrasounds as I've had in the last 6 years, I've never seen that. Even the ultrasound tech gasped and said he looked like a cutie. I have to agree.

On a more serious note... my dad has been diagnosed with a genetic disorder (disease?) called Marfan Syndrome. I have a 50% chance that I inherited it from him and if I did my kids have the same chance of inheriting it from me. It's kind of serious, but also pretty manageable. If I don't have it, the good thing is that I can't pass it to the kids. I could tell you more, but it would be way too long of an entry. The only issue that's really concerning to me is that if I have it, it could be of some risk to me when I deliver Jonathan. Many people with Marfan have an enlarged aortal root (where the aortal artery leaves the heart, on top??) which makes them much more likely to have an aortal aneurism (sp?). Evidently, during childbirth, the weakening of the arterial walls can cause them to rupture, due to the strain of pushing. I don't understand all of the details, but I'm supposed to have an ecchocardiogram (sp?) next Thursday, which would catch any abnormalities. I'm probably fine, but it will be comforting to know that for sure. If I do have an abnormality, then I'm not sure what will happen after that. I suppose we'll find out.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far and I'll update soon on the outcome. If you want to know more about Marfan, you're welcome to read the description below. It comes from the Marfan Foundation's website, which is located at www.marfan.org.

"The Marfan syndrome affects people in different ways. Some people have only mild symptoms, while others are more severely affected. In most cases, the disorder progresses as the person ages. The body systems most often affected by the Marfan syndrome are:

* Skeleton
- People with the Marfan syndrome are typically, but not always, very tall or taller than unaffected people in their family, slender and loose jointed. The Marfan syndrome affects the long bones of the skeleton. Therefore the arms, legs, fingers, and toes may be disproportionately long in relation to the rest of the body. A person with the Marfan syndrome often has a long, narrow face, and the roof of the mouth may be arched, causing the teeth to be crowded. Other skeletal abnormalities include a sternum (breastbone) that is either protruding or indented, curvature of the spine (scoliosis), and flat feet. For more information: Orthopedic Concerns Brochure; excerpt from The Marfan Syndrome

* Eyes
- More than half of all people with the Marfan syndrome experience dislocation of one or both lenses of the eye. The lens may be slightly higher or lower than normal and may be shifted off to one side. The dislocation may be minimal, or it may be pronounced and obvious. Retinal detachment is a possible serious complication of this disorder. Many people with the Marfan syndrome are also nearsighted (myopic), and some can develop early glaucoma (high pressure within the eye) or cataracts (the eye's lens loses its clearness). For more information: Ocular Concerns; excerpt from The Marfan Syndrome; Pediatric Eye Issues; Management of Dislocated Lenses
.

* Heart and blood vessels (cardiovascular system)
- Most people with the Marfan syndrome have problems associated with the heart and blood vessels. The valve between the left chambers of the heart is defective and may be large and floppy, resulting in an abnormal valve motion when the heart beats. In some cases, the valve may leak, creating a "heart murmur," which a doctor can hear with a stethoscope. Small leaks may not cause any symptoms, but larger ones may result in shortness of breath, fatigue and palpitations (a very fast or irregular heart rate). Because of faulty connective tissue, the wall of the aorta (the large artery that carries blood from the heart to the rest of the body) may be weakened and stretch, a process called aortic dilation. Aortic dilation increases the risk that the aorta will tear (dissect) or rupture, causing serious heart problems or sometimes sudden death. For more information: Cardiac Concerns; excerpt from The Marfan Syndrome; Emergency Diagnosis and Aortic Dissection

* Nervous system
- The brain and spinal cord are surrounded by fluid contained by a membrane called the dura, which is comprised of connective tissue. As people with The Marfan syndrome get older, the dura often weakens and stretches, then begins to weigh on the vertebrae in the lower spine and wear away the bone surrounding the spinal cord. This is called dural ectasia. These changes may cause only mild discomfort or may lead to radiated pain in the abdomen or to pain, numbness or weakness of the legs. For more information: Dural Ectasia; excerpt from The Marfan Syndrome

* Skin
- Many people with The Marfan syndrome develop stretch marks on their skin, even without any significant weight change or pregnancy. These stretch marks can occur at any age and pose no health risk. The stretch marks tend to appear at sites subject to stress such as shoulders, hips and lower back. The stretch marks require no treatment. In addition, people with the Marfan syndrome are also at increased risk for developing an abdominal or inguinal (groin) hernia where a bulge develops that contains part of the intestines. This requires medical treatment.

* Lungs
- Restrictive lung disease, primarily due to pectus abnormalities and/or scoliosis, occurs in 70 percent of persons with MFS. In addition, because fibrillin is expressed in the lung and is associated with elastin there, Marfan fibrillin –1 deficiency is thought to affect both lung development and homeostasis. Spontaneous pneumothorax (collapse of the lung in the absence of trauma) and early emphasema, without a history of smoking, may be consequences of the fibrillin-1 deficiency. Sleep-related breathing disorders, such as snoring and sleep apnea, are also associated with Marfan syndrome, even when the person is not overweight. For more information: excerpt from The Marfan Syndrome; Marfan Syndrome and the Lungs"

Mmm. Juicy peaches ;)

2008-07-31T11:16:00.004-04:00

There's nothing like a perfectly ripe, juicy peach on a hot day and it's even better when you get to watch your chubby fisted toddler cram them down as fast as she can grab the slippery pieces.

funny youtube video

2008-07-28T21:15:00.002-04:00

I only have three, so I'm sure this family knows a lot more about big families than I do, but it appears that we get the same comments. So funny.

much needed encouragement

2008-07-18T22:00:00.002-04:00

I feel so encouraged by the women I have met in the last two days. Out of a need for support and a homeschooling community, I posted an email to our neighborhood listserve to see if any homeschooling moms in the neighborhood were interested in getting together once in awhile. I now have a list of ten women who are interested in some kind of get together, structured or purely social. Three of these women have boys Dana's age. Some of you who know me know what a big deal this is. Dana doesn't really know many boys his age, and the few he does know are going to school this year. His sensitive little heart so needs a buddy and I've been praying for a long time that we would find one for him. God is so good.

I'm a little nervous about the get togethers, mainly because I start so many things full steam ahead and then peter out too soon. My hope is that this group will somehow take on a life of its own and won't require much work, but we'll see. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I hope someone a little wiser than me will have an opinion and maybe the energy and time to act on it. For now, I'm happy to say I have 10 homeschooling friends who live close by and who want to support each other. I certainly need the encouragement and I'm already basking in the joy of it. Thanks ladies.

homeschooling moms in Chatt?

2008-07-16T21:20:00.001-04:00

Are you homeschooling your children? Please come to the St. Elmo playground on Friday morning to hang out and chat with us. A few homeschooling moms are going to meet at the playground at 9:30am for playtime and fellowship. If you're new to homeschooling, or you're a seasoned veteran, please join us. We would love to meet you. Hope to see you there.

low lying placenta and other news

2008-07-12T20:55:00.002-04:00

I got to look at little Monahan on Thursday at my ultrasound. Dana went with me and had so much fun watching his brother on the screen. We were both excited to see how much he looks like Dana, at least as much as you can tell from a grainy picture. Same upturned lip and button nose. Those appointments are so bitter sweet, because it leaves me so sad that I have to wait four more months to hold him.

The ultrasound tech noticed that I have a low lying placenta, which doesn't mean much now, but could be a big deal later if it doesn't resolve itself. I didn't ask if the placenta was covering my cervix, but I wish that I had thought to ask. They're going to see me again in a month and check on it then. The placenta usually moves, or appears to move, due to the bottom of the uterus growing so much at the end of a pregnancy. We're praying that this would happen.

We've finally done it. We came up with a name! His name is Jonathan Reeve Monahan, in honor of Jonathan from the Bible, King David's loyal friend, and in honor of my great grandparents Charles and Mary Reeve, who I admire so much. My great grandparents owned a farm in the depression and although they didn't have many luxuries, they were faithful stewards of what they had, often taking care of neighbors and working long hard days. They loved Jesus and passed that love on to four generations after them. I never new my great grandmother, because she died when my mom was a girl, but I've heard stories of her industriousness and godliness. I think of her a lot as I try to make it through a tough day. My great grandpa Reeve's birthday was on the fourth of July and every year, generations of family members would come to his house to celebrate his birthday. He was very short, but he had a deep, strong voice, dark hair, and a joyful smile. He knew all of his great grandkids by name and we loved to sit with him and talk to him, because we knew he loved us. It's interesting to me that a "reeve" was the steward of a Lord's estate in England. Anyway, I'm making this a book. But here it is. His name. Now you know why.